My favorite feminist web site is Jezebel.com. It has introduced me to concepts such as “body
snarking”, “slut
shaming”, and “thighlights”. It also frequently features celebrity
news, kitten videos, and red carpet slideshows so it really has something for all
different kinds of feminists.
I bring this up not because I want to discuss the fight
against mansplaining
or Photoshop
controversies. It is because I was
perusing the site recently and saw this video of a flash mob on an airplane
(I’ll pause while you watch the video):
You may remember flash mobs from the previous decade. They are when a bunch of people with
too much free time get together and dance around in a public place. They seemed kind of fun back in 2006 or
so but since then they have been commercialized, televised,
and Glee-ized. The ubiquity of flash mobs is a sure
sign of a society that is on the way down. Rome never recovered after the rise of mico vulgi in the
late 470s.
“Wait”, you may be thinking, “isn’t the existence of this
blog evidence that you, too, have too much free time?” Probably, but there is a
key difference between a flash mob participant and myself: I am not an
attention whore. That reminds me,
please tell your friends to check out my blog. But I digress.
Back to the point of this post: Please keep your flash mob
off my airplane. When I’m on a
plane all I want to do is browse the SkyMall catalog, eat the $4 bag of
Skittles I bought in the airport, and pray that the person next to me has
showered within the last 24 hours and is a mute. Flying sucks enough without additional distractions. Plus,
it isn’t even an original idea.
The last thing I want to do is to have to deal with while
being held captive at 34,000 feet is a bunch of conventionally attractive people
waving their arms around and blocking the aisles. Well, I guess it is better than conventionally ugly
people doing the same thing. By
the way, “conventionally attractive” is a term I also learned on Jezebel.com. It is kind of relevant in this case, though. Do you think the reaction from the rest
of the passengers would have been the same if the flash mob was performed by a
bunch of men wearing keffiyehs? I
can sum it up in one word: diverted flight.
Did you happen to notice that poor guy trying to get back to
his seat for the first 1:30 of the video? All he wants to do is go back to his seat and reflect after a nice in-flight poop.
Instead he is forced to stand there like a boob and wait. I suppose he should be thankful that he
wasn’t on his way to the bathroom
instead. Would it have killed
those dancers to pause from their self-indulgence to let him by? Possibly.
One thing I really want to know is if they were playing the
music in the cabin. In case you
didn’t recognize it, the mellifluous voice you hear on the track is that of
Kanye West singing his song “Runaway”. I actually like Kanye’s music, but I’m
not sure about this particular song and whether it was the appropriate choice.
It features the chorus:
Let’s have a toast
for the douche bags
Let’s have a toast
for the assholes
Let’s have a toast
for the scumbags
Every one of them
that I know
On second thought, in this case it seems kind of fitting.
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